Being Anchored

One form of meditation is called "tonglin" and focuses on visualizing yourself smiling, happy, healthy and surrounded by light. Then you visualize someone you love being happy, smiling, healthy and surrounded by light.  Then you proceed to visualizing the same for a person for whom you have neutral feelings. Finally you visualize this happy light around someone with whom you are having a troubled relationship.  In each visualization you picture yourself smiling and laughing with the other person. 

This meditation has produced some amazing results in my life. It has helped me deal with strong feelings of anger with other people.  It has helped me find peace and even joy working with previously difficult people. 

Today when I meditated and turned to a tonglin sitting, I realized that the anchor of this chain of joyful visualizations is the self. If one cannot first anchor yourself in love for yourself ("maitri" in Buddhist terms), then it is impossible to share this light with others.  Loving compassion for our own humanity and selves is the gateway and anchor for compassion for others.